I don't believe in rules but...
A client recently told me she thrived on rules asked for my style rules. While I made up a genius one for her on the spot (Crayola rule - if you're wearing something bright that would be in a classic Crayola box, pair it with a softer color like grey, navy, brown, olive, etc instead of black or white. There's less of a stark contrast that way so it won't be jarring to the eye), I told her that I don't believe in style rules. Trying to follow style rules is usually what gets people stuck in their style. Don't wear black with brown, no white after Labor Day, avoid horizontal stripes, etc…these all belong in the garbage.
BUT ALSO!!!
I do want to share my style philosophies with you. These are concepts, not tangible rules. If you're following me on Instagram or TikTok, you've definitely heard some of these.
STYLE IS AN EVER-EVOLVING PART OF YOUR LIFE
Like your career, your health habits, your relationships – your style will always be evolving as you and your life change. The good thing about this is that it gives you a lot of room to experiment, you're not committing to anything for life. Obviously the more effort/money you spend going in one direction, the larger impact it has but nothing is irreversible.
IF IT’S NOT A HELL YES, IT’S A NO
If you buy clothes that you feel just ok about, your wardrobe is going to be just ok. Do not bring anything into your wardrobe that you don't absolutely LOVE. It takes more work to do it this way but it is SO worth it.
BASICS AREN’T UNIVERSAL
This is a hill I will die on. A white tee shirt does not work for everyone. Figure out what YOUR basics are and your wardrobe will be easy to use and make you feel like you.
An example: Instead of a white tee, my personal layering staple is a black or black/white striped tank. I prefer layering with tanks instead of tees so the sleeves don't bunch and because I naturally run hot. My skin tone doesn't look good in white so I rarely wear white tops.
TRENDS ARE NOT THE LAW!
You have absolutely 0 obligation to follow trends. Nothing will happen if you don't. However, the more trends you follow, the harder it will be to even understand what you like. Before buying an item that's on trend, ask yourself, do I really like this or have I just seen it everywhere? If the answer is yes, go for it! Wearing trending items is not inherently bad, just don't default to it above your own personal taste.
SIZES ARE FAKE!
The current state of global manufacturing has made sizing more inconsistent than ever. This is good news because you can no longer consistently be any one size, so hopefully this helps people let go of being a certain size (and the negative feelings that come up when something that size doesn't fit you). The bad news is that shopping is now harder. Whether you're in a store or shopping online, try on EVERYTHING in 2 sizes. If it's a tighter item take the size that works for you the most (notice how I'm not saying "your size" - I highly suggest distancing your identity from any particular size) and a size bigger. If it's a looser item, take the size that works for you the most and a size smaller.
EVERYTHING IN YOUR CLOSET SHOULD FIT YOUR BODY AS IT IS TODAY
While I'd love for everyone to get rid of every item that doesn't fit, I know that's not realistic. So if you're not ready , take that stuff out of your closet. Store it somewhere out of sight and out of mind. If you mix in the jeans that are two sizes too small with the rest of your clothes, you will see them every time you get dressed. They will make you feel bad every day, even if it's for a microsecond. There is no reason those jeans should have that much power over you. Your closet should be filled with solutions, not problems.
WEAR WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD, FUCK THE REST!
By feel good, I mean physically, emotionally, aesthetically.
Physically: if it's too small, too big, itchy, has buttons or zippers that poke you, do not wear it. Clothes should feel good on your body. Textile technology has come a LONG way, even in the last 10 years. There's no reason to be uncomfortable in your clothes anymore. (Shoe technology is still improving, I will allow some foot discomfort for special occasions but not for an every day shoe.)
Emotionally: Clothing is closely tied to our emotions. If an article of clothing reminds you of a time in your life, a person, or anything else that makes you feel bad, DO NOT WEAR IT! I recently got rid of a perfectly good top that I liked and fit me nicely because I wore it during a hard time in my life and seeing it reminded me of that time. I will not miss it.
Aesthetically: if you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, it's a NO! If every influencer and celebrity is wearing it but you don't like it, it's a NO! Just like with food, taste is an instinct you feel immediately. Listen to yourself.
If you follow these, you will create a wardrobe that feels GOOD, feels like YOU and doesn't fuck with your body image. Sounds pretty rad, right?